[ His gaze flickers down to their hands and then back to her face. He can tell she's worried in some capacity — trying to comfort him more than deal with anything herself.
You can't help it, he wants to say, but of course Peggy knows that. And it's a childish retort, anyway. No one can help it, not here, not on Earth. Not any more than his father, Harry, or his friends among the refugees.
Ultimately, he shrugs. He'd been foolish enough to say something similar to Bellamy and receive it in return. I don't know what I'd without you. "Good thing you don't have to find out." On the contrary, Eggsy would find out soon enough. ]
Me either. [ It's a small comfort, but that's all he feels capable of offering.
For a spy, he prefers not to lie, so he shifts, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before he walks away, toward Percy's bedroom. Then, casually tossed over his shoulder — ] I should invest in a fake mustache.
[ She's not one for empty promises, but that wasn't one when it comes down to it. Not if I can help it. It would never be her choice to leave behind anyone she cares about; no man left behind was something drilled into her for years. And while that was easier for soldiers than spies, the sentiment remains. (Once upon a time, in a bombed out London pub, she told Steve he wouldn't be alone in his fight. Not long after, when he pointed the nose of a plane towards the Arctic ice, she was with him until the line went dead. He wasn't alone.)
She watches Eggsy go, put in whatever distance he needs between them and the moment. The quip has her raising an eyebrow but she stays where she is, lest he feel that she's hovering. ]
I happen to think you'd look terrible in one, [ comes the equally casual reply. She's not wrong. ] Which may be a good enough reason to do it. May I ask why?
[ That makes him bark a laugh from the bedroom, and he peaks out behind the door-frame, chin tilted up and brows arched in challenge. ]
Worried my handsome face is too much otherwise? [ Yeah, right. 'Course he doesn't let the quip hang out for long. ] I went out in broad daylight on a job and put my face to it. My glasses. My suit. My hair.
[ Would a Kingsman handler have allowed that? Most of his practice missions were less covert, except for the honeypot, but even then he hadn't been worried about exposure.
He ducks back into the bedroom in search of spare sheets, but his voice carries into the hall. ]
This ain't London. [ A sea of people, from all over the country and the world, countless boys who look and sound like him. ] The world's too small.
[ She follows him into the bedroom when he carries on the conversation, her gait hardly carrying a trace of a limp now that she's had some time to recover. But she doesn't cross beyond the doorway, leaning against it instead with her arms crossed as she watches him fuss with the bed. ]
It is, [ she agrees. It's why she still goes out and about in her trademark 1940s style — the trademark is what she's after. So the second she does other work, all of that disappears and Peggy Carter with it, replaced by a nondescript native. But: ] Don't be so hard on yourself, Eggsy. We only ever accounted for me going undercover, not the pair of us. How were we supposed to know the entire assignment would go to hell in a hand basket?
[ She exhales. The thing is, she should have known. Account for every possible outcome. She's not green. But robots? ]
[ He finds half of what he's looking for: Sheets, no pillow cases. His stomach twists, another twinge at the loss of Percy. Figures a sixteen-year-old boy wouldn't have a perfectly sorted or filled apartment.
In fairness, the only reason Eggsy's flat is organised is because of his time in the military, and it's only well-equipped because of Harry. ]
We should have accounted for it. [ said neutrally. In a larger operation, someone would have considered the scenario where Eggsy faced witnessed or perhaps even was snapped by a robotic camera.
He only says we because she said it first. The part of him that is hard on himself thinks he alone is to blame for any exposure. Considering the manhunt and ban on supposed traitors like Rocket, he doesn't take the scenario lightly.
He sets the wrinkled sheets on the side table. ] And for severe injuries.
[ His mouth gives him away then, corners tipping downward. Her wound scared him. And without a doctor in the loop anymore, who could they turn to in the event of something worse? If the bullet had punctured her gut instead — without infrastructure, handlers, mentors and back-up, everything is harder. ]
[ She does catch the shift in his expression and her own mirrors it, almost unconsciously. But while he thinks of her, she's thinking of him — one man against two machines wielding blades, his agility the only thing saving him from being bloody impaled. Compared to that, being shot is nothing. (Then again, it's true; what would they have done if either of them suffered anything worse? Vital organs, arteries, bones. Eventually they'll need to loop someone in that can help them there, likely in other places too. Someone on the outside with their ear to the ground.)
Another breath, and then she — laughs, a little. Trying to ease the mood, the tension. It's not dismissive, it's almost self-deprecating, if she did that sort of thing. But the smile she wears is gentle. ]
It looked worse than it was. [ Peggy crosses to him, ostensibly to help. ] It wasn't the first time I've been shot, either; my third, in fact. [ But a grand total of four scars; the two in her shoulder were one unfortunate afternoon in enemy territory. ] And now my left and right legs match.
[ She ducks her head a little to catch his eye; all joking aside: ]
It's dangerous, what we do. But we wouldn't be in this business if we didn't think we could handle it.
[ Peggy Carter is tough. He doesn't doubt that. And for once, he's the one pressing, pushing at boundaries and fishing for serious answers, while she lightens the mood. He lifts the pillows off the bed, chucking them into a chair in the corner. Great aim, as ever, but it's a bit of a laddy move. Makes him more relaxed, trying to warm the mood, too. ]
We can handle it. [ He agrees with a nod and a particularly accurate toss. ]
But we need to loop someone in — [ His expression shifts, more apologetic. ] — not just Roxy. [ who he made the call to include, even if he and Peggy made it a near inevitability when they arrived at his flat visibly injured. ] We need a medic.
[ At the minimum. They'd be better off with more help and resources, but that's too ambitious for what they're up to presently. ]
[ Her smile flickers at that, goes a little more sad on the edges, even as she watches him tidy up a room in a way she certainly wouldn't. ]
We need John. [ It's the first time she's talked about him beyond informing others he'd gone back to stasis. That box she tucks everything away into rattles but doesn't burst open. ] Inconsiderate of him, taking a nap when we needed him most.
[ No, that's uncharitable. She sighs, sets a hand on her hip. ]
You're not wrong. A medic on call would be wise, especially if we're expected to take on more jobs like the last one. [ Which is likely, since Cree now knows they're capable of it. ] And I happen to know someone who is qualified. I'd trust her with my life. Only...
[ She looks over at him and she knows he'll be able to read her expression. Only she doesn't know who I am. Not really. Claire Fraser has known her for close to a year now and has never learned the truth. It's a hard conversation to have. ]
[ His chest aches for her, for how much she trusted John, how he arrived in the first group with her. Every disappearance bruises the heart, but some cause greater harm. It's only natural, when every connection is unique.
And then she mentions Claire. He knows who she means. Hell, he had briefly considered suggesting her because of the obvious friendship between Peggy and Claire, only... it's that crucial, unsaid phrase that held him back. He doesn't know how much Peggy has told anyone of her career if she hasn't explicitly mentioned it. His brows knit, expression turning pained in sympathy. ]
Reckon he'd agree that you need him. [ He was a snarky one, that John. ]
[ He stops fussing with the bed, hands flat against the sheets, to regard Peggy. It's important that he pays attention, in this moment — that he does his damnedest to understand how she feels. ]
Do you want to tell her? [ This isn't the same as briefing an agent who signed up for secrets and danger. Claire wouldn't have a real choice in the matter: She'd only agree to know something that she hadn't before now. And knowing is enough to make someone a target. ] We can find someone else, between you and me looking, sussing people out.
[ She laughs shortly at his first comment and doesn't refute it; why would she? The man had insisted she tell him about Cree, the Gilded Cage, her partner because he wanted to be as prepared as he could be for the eventuality — not possibility — that she'd get into a fix and need his help. Too true, Eggsy.
Then he asks the next thing and she looks over at him, lips still curved in a smile, but more subdued. Almost resigned. ]
If you think we'll find another refugee who's experienced in combat medicine as well as a qualified surgeon on top of being trustworthy enough to keep both our secrets, be my guest. But you and I both know that's a tall order to fill.
[ There's a stretch of silence as she lets that hang in the air, then she sits on the bed, never mind that it was halfway to being neatly made. Yes, telling Claire would make her a potential target. Yes, telling Claire could possibly throw a wrench in their friendship because of how long she kept the truth from her. But — ]
It's kind of you to ask, Eggsy, but whether or not I want to tell her doesn't matter. We have to be practical about this.
Edited (i wasn't done oops) 2018-06-26 19:23 (UTC)
[ He mirrors her expression: A sad smile. There are few refugees with medical experience, according to his network spying, and most of the magical sorts prefer science over healing. Claire is the most qualified, practically and emotionally. Although Eggsy only knows her on a shallow level, Peggy's trust leaves him without doubts.
This is different from when Peggy spoke to John on the side and brought her findings to Eggsy, or when he succinctly explained their status to Roxy. This is a partnership. They make this decision together, though the consequences are greater for Peggy. ]
Take your time. [ Not you really don't have to, or I'll look for someone else first. Another offer would be softened for her sake, when Peggy deserves undecorated frankness. He follows her example, sitting on the bed beside. Funny how they've ended up having this conversation here, in their sleeping friend's home.
He bumps their shoulders. ]
However you want to do it — we do it that way.
[ We again. He assumes that Peggy will want to tell her alone, and leave room for Claire's response — that Eggsy's part in all this will come later. ]
[ He bumps their shoulders but she leans into his in return, not because she's tired (although this conversation certainly makes her feel that way) but because of the support. God, but she appreciates how keenly he understands this: the difficulties, the struggles of the life they lead, the friendship born of all of it. She thought Steve Rogers would be the only person on this planet who would know the truth of her and had been prepared to let that weigh on the pair of them for as long as they were awake. But Eggsy?
Honestly, thank God for Eggsy Unwin. ]
However way I do it won't be easy, [ she says with a soft huff of breath. Not quite a laugh. This is a headache waiting to happen. ] She's got so much on her plate. That's part of the reason why I never told her, I didn't want to add more to it. With John back in stasis, you are the only person who knows — apart from Steve, of course.
[ Though God, did the pair of them have one hell of a talk when she came home from the mission at the Institute. He had no idea about Cree but now he does. The truth is just spilling out now, despite Peggy's best efforts to keep it contained. ]
Everyone else just thinks I manned radios during the war and became a secretary after. Claire included. How would you take it if you'd confided in me from the day we met only to learn I'd been keeping something from you for nearly a year?
[ Only him and Steve. It's an elite club, then. While Eggsy isn't overconfident in relationships, other things discussions with Peggy (and outright declarations of trust and support), have led him to believe she trusts him more than most of her companions, at least with this part of herself.
It helps that he trusts her with his life, as he told Roxy unblinkingly, and other pieces of himself that he buries — that few have seen.
And when she leans in this time, he allows the closeness to linger. This gesture isn't linked to the wound opened by Percy's loss. Secrecy and lies don't burn or cut. They erode. Slow, almost imperceptibly so, and erosion wears you down to your marrow eventually. ]
Well. [ an exhale. ] I'm notoriously stroppy. [ True, as she knows, but has been patient enough to avoid mentioning aloud. ] So, badly. [ He means it somewhat jokingly, though there's truth nestled in it. ] She cares about you.
[ She laughs a little at that keen sense of self-observation. She's been on the receiving end of his moods on more than one occasion but has never held it against him. She is glad that they came to trust each other the way the did, that admitting to this shared profession has helped rather than hindered. She doesn't know where she'd be now without his partnership as well as friendship.
So now it's a matter of extending that some courtesy to Claire. It's not a chat she's looking forward to but one she feels has been building up and up and up for some time, now. ]
I know. I don't doubt it. I just hope she understands that the secrets we keep are never to save our own skins or because we don't trust our friends. But, [ she sighs, ] I can't predict how she'll react. We'll simply have to hope for the best and keep our heads down in the meantime.
[ He falls back on the bed, laughing in a breathless sort of way. It releases tension. Percy won't mind, if he ever returns — they're changing the sheets, anyway.
As for Claire, he defers to Peggy on that matter. If Peggy isn't sure, then her reaction is truly uncertain. Wait and see, as ever. Even with lower level and higher frequency missions on the ground, spying involves more waiting than any other activity. Waiting and watching, waiting and listening, waiting and hiding. ]
Oi, I said a mustache. Jesus, Peg. A goatee! [ in the tone of why, I'd never. ]
[ He adjusts his gaze, moving from the ceiling and back to Peggy. When he speaks, his voice is even. ]
How did Steve handle the news of your injury?
[ It's too much to hide, even if it has healed... faster than he would have expected. He wouldn't have noticed, if that hadn't been the case after the rescue mission as well. Of course, he doesn't think anything of it yet. ]
[ She breaks into a smile, pleased to have earned such a reaction. It relaxes the tightness in her shoulders and she sits back on the heels of her palms, looking down at him. She had told Mr Jarvis she wasn't one for the cinema and that she didn't much care for life in Hollywood, but that doesn't mean she's never seen a motion picture in her life. But — ]
You've got a jawline like Errol Flynn, [ she teases, ] we have to mask it somehow.
[ And that lingers for a stretch or two before the subject changes and with it, the relative ease in the air. Not his fault. She's mid-breath when he asks and it stops for a moment before being released in a silent exhale; and now Peggy is the one who falls onto her back on the bed next to him. ]
As well as could be expected. [ It hadn't been an entirely pleasant conversation, but like the one she's to have with Claire, it had been building up for some time. ] I've hidden a few things from him, but a limp was by far the trickiest. The rest came spilling out from there.
[ Not his name or his involvement. She'd never. But that's a given. ]
[ The significance of Errol Flynn mostly flies over his head, but Eggsy can assume from the context that he was some vintage celeb. He brushes a hand over his face and pushes back his hair, caught between flattered and flustered.
When she falls back beside him, he tips his head to get a sideways look at her, more out of politeness than any visual cues afforded to him. ]
Fair enough. [ After Steve noticed the injury, more lies would only worsen the situation. ] Let me know if there's anything I can do. [ Besides commiserate, which is a given. ] If it would make him feel better to know who was with you —
[ He trails off. Eggsy doesn't have a relationship with Steve, partly by his own design. Would knowing it was Eggsy with Peggy help? Hard to say, but he puts it out there.
Roxy knows that he runs operations with Peggy, after all. ]
[ Yes, Roxy does know about her. And this offer is the complete opposite of when John had asked to know who her partner was and she hadn't budged on the subject, hadn't even really told Eggsy that was his request. The mess in her life is one thing; no good reason for it to touch Eggsy's, for all that they're partners in the underground.
It's kind of him to offer and he didn't have to. She knows. But she wants to spare him just as much as she wanted to spare Steve, if she can help it. ]
I know how unhappy you are with the position you're in now. [ Half joking that his people would sack him for how he's carried on here. She knows that wasn't all lighthearted. ] This is my mess, not yours.
Still, he would describe his position as fragile, at best. Perhaps the new head of Kingsman would consider his actions on El Nysa as necessary, proof of his adaptability and dedication to service, just like his work against Valentine. ]
I almost didn't get the job. [ Then, simply. ] I failed my final test. [ He pauses, listening for the light steps of JB pottering about the house in search of boy no longer on this planet. He tucks his arms behind his head. ] Didn't follow orders. Stole company property. Came back uninvited. [ His eyes shift, tracing invisible patterns on the ceiling. ] Killed a traitor. Maybe two traitors. [ Could Charlie survive a close-range electrocution? ] Saved the world, I guess. [ The point is: ] Everything's always a mess.
[ And his foundation with Kingsman is shaky, in some ways. Every other agent followed the same path. Loyal, old family; Oxbridge education; and shooting the fucking dog. Between his rough start and his choices in Olympia, he doesn't think it's likely that any agents who awaken will trust him. Even Roxy has reminded him of certain errors.
Telling Steve would be small, in comparison. That's all. 'Course he won't push it, when she's right about his position. As with Claire, Steve is her call. ]
[ He's never told her any of this and even though he skims over key details, she recognises that his path towards being an agent was unconventional. She was recruited in wartime and the SOE was desperate to take anyone who qualified, however unusual their background. It was different. But she can't help but draw similarities between what he's told her now to her career with the SSR after the war.
Her lips quirk a little at the ceiling at the point he makes. Everything is always a mess. ]
My own agency arrested me on the grounds of treason and espionage because I was trying to prove a man's innocence. I was conducting my own investigation under their noses and they found me out. [ The lengths she'll go for friends as well as doing the right thing. ] It was a fiasco. Stolen technology, Russian spies, assassins. Men were killed. [ Chief Dooley. My fault. ] I was sacked.
[ She turns her head to look at him. ]
Solved the case, caught the bad guy, and was reinstated with my agency. Trust is such a rare and fickle commodity in our line of work. I suppose that's why I'm so careful not to abuse it. [ Yours. Steve's. ] We're partners, Eggsy. It goes both ways. However you want to do it, we do it that way.
Partners. [ he agrees, looking to her in return. Friends, coworkers, teammates, all wrapped up in a neat term for trust and support.
Before now, the details of Peggy's case (getting sacked, discovering the truth) are unknown to him, yes, but each admission tracks with what he knows of her. Doing the right thing and protecting her friends at her own expense. What she says about trust, too, speaks to her experience. By comparison, Eggsy is green. ]
Russian spies, huh? [ A rhetorical remark. He lets out a low whistle, impressed and a little amused at the stereotypical nature of it. Peggy lived before the Cold War and yet he thinks of that first — along with her light accusation that he might be a Russian spy himself, because of his preference for the Kingsman Tokarev.
They're a long way off from that moment. ]
We'll take it one person at a time, [ in a faux Russian accent, ] comrade.
[ First Claire. Eggsy will make an effort with Steve and then — well, they'll wait and see. ]
[ A Russian spy posing as a ballerina. The clichés had to come from somewhere! She doesn't elaborate on the training facility she and the Commandos found out beyond the Iron Curtain, nor does she say the reason the Russians infiltrated the SSR is because they brought them right through their doors. The point is that they were stopped.
His accent makes her laugh out loud, not unkindly. ]
Yes, one person at a — was that meant to be Russian? [ Peggy sits up on her elbows, looking over at him. ] If I thought there was any merit to learning another accent or language in this place, I'd offer to teach you. But as it stands, I think English and American will suit our needs just fine.
[ As if she can read his mind: ]
Maybe you'll pick up on the latter if you come over more, spend some time with Steve.
[ Her laugh makes him laugh. When they're both done, a smile replaces his prior neutrality.
And how does he spend more time with Steve? Can't go golfing or bowling. Not that Eggsy does either, uh, ever. They could get a pint together. Go for a run, maybe. Everything else on the planet is weird shit. Besides, what does Steve like? Great fucking flag on his shield, definitely was in the army, going steady with Peg: That's about the limit of his Steve-related intel. ]
[ arching his brows. ] If you're inviting me to dinner, I'll take it.
Dinner is a start. I should have done it months ago, honestly, but... [ But things were a mess. Still are, and likely always will be. This isn't the quiet life any of them probably thought it was, at first. But Peggy's never known what to do with the quiet life. ] He's set up a training club too. Self-defense classes, that sort of thing, to help people better protect themselves.
[ The kidnapping incident shook a lot of people to their core and Steve, as a victim, was amongst them. And beyond that, with the childhood he'd lived, it makes sense that he'd want to help people stay out of situations like that. Peggy sits up properly now, smoothing a hand over her crushed curls. ]
You strike me as the sort of man who might be interested.
[ JB trots in the door, barking at the two of them. A sign that they ought to get on with this clean-up job, perhaps.
Eggsy sits up, easing to his feet to give JB attention. The fight club interested him when it was first mentioned on the network. People need it to help them sleep at night as much as to defend themselves. If he had known how to protect himself against Dean — ]
I can make a few appearances. [ But he can't become a regular, not without drawing attention to himself, even as an ex-marine and current member of the guard. Someone will notice his high competence or, worse, they'll realise how expertly he can dull his abilities. Now, that's suspicious.
As he crouches to scratch JB, he spies Peggy over his shoulder. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You can't help it, he wants to say, but of course Peggy knows that. And it's a childish retort, anyway. No one can help it, not here, not on Earth. Not any more than his father, Harry, or his friends among the refugees.
Ultimately, he shrugs. He'd been foolish enough to say something similar to Bellamy and receive it in return. I don't know what I'd without you. "Good thing you don't have to find out." On the contrary, Eggsy would find out soon enough. ]
Me either. [ It's a small comfort, but that's all he feels capable of offering.
For a spy, he prefers not to lie, so he shifts, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before he walks away, toward Percy's bedroom. Then, casually tossed over his shoulder — ] I should invest in a fake mustache.
[ jokes!! but also not. ]
no subject
She watches Eggsy go, put in whatever distance he needs between them and the moment. The quip has her raising an eyebrow but she stays where she is, lest he feel that she's hovering. ]
I happen to think you'd look terrible in one, [ comes the equally casual reply.
She's not wrong.] Which may be a good enough reason to do it. May I ask why?let me LIVE
Worried my handsome face is too much otherwise? [ Yeah, right. 'Course he doesn't let the quip hang out for long. ] I went out in broad daylight on a job and put my face to it. My glasses. My suit. My hair.
[ Would a Kingsman handler have allowed that? Most of his practice missions were less covert, except for the honeypot, but even then he hadn't been worried about exposure.
He ducks back into the bedroom in search of spare sheets, but his voice carries into the hall. ]
This ain't London. [ A sea of people, from all over the country and the world, countless boys who look and sound like him. ] The world's too small.
CAW CAW
It is, [ she agrees. It's why she still goes out and about in her trademark 1940s style — the trademark is what she's after. So the second she does other work, all of that disappears and Peggy Carter with it, replaced by a nondescript native. But: ] Don't be so hard on yourself, Eggsy. We only ever accounted for me going undercover, not the pair of us. How were we supposed to know the entire assignment would go to hell in a hand basket?
[ She exhales. The thing is, she should have known. Account for every possible outcome. She's not green. But robots? ]
no subject
In fairness, the only reason Eggsy's flat is organised is because of his time in the military, and it's only well-equipped because of Harry. ]
We should have accounted for it. [ said neutrally. In a larger operation, someone would have considered the scenario where Eggsy faced witnessed or perhaps even was snapped by a robotic camera.
He only says we because she said it first. The part of him that is hard on himself thinks he alone is to blame for any exposure. Considering the manhunt and ban on supposed traitors like Rocket, he doesn't take the scenario lightly.
He sets the wrinkled sheets on the side table. ] And for severe injuries.
[ His mouth gives him away then, corners tipping downward. Her wound scared him. And without a doctor in the loop anymore, who could they turn to in the event of something worse? If the bullet had punctured her gut instead — without infrastructure, handlers, mentors and back-up, everything is harder. ]
no subject
Another breath, and then she — laughs, a little. Trying to ease the mood, the tension. It's not dismissive, it's almost self-deprecating, if she did that sort of thing. But the smile she wears is gentle. ]
It looked worse than it was. [ Peggy crosses to him, ostensibly to help. ] It wasn't the first time I've been shot, either; my third, in fact. [ But a grand total of four scars; the two in her shoulder were one unfortunate afternoon in enemy territory. ] And now my left and right legs match.
[ She ducks her head a little to catch his eye; all joking aside: ]
It's dangerous, what we do. But we wouldn't be in this business if we didn't think we could handle it.
no subject
We can handle it. [ He agrees with a nod and a particularly accurate toss. ]
But we need to loop someone in — [ His expression shifts, more apologetic. ] — not just Roxy. [ who he made the call to include, even if he and Peggy made it a near inevitability when they arrived at his flat visibly injured. ] We need a medic.
[ At the minimum. They'd be better off with more help and resources, but that's too ambitious for what they're up to presently. ]
no subject
We need John. [ It's the first time she's talked about him beyond informing others he'd gone back to stasis. That box she tucks everything away into rattles but doesn't burst open. ] Inconsiderate of him, taking a nap when we needed him most.
[ No, that's uncharitable. She sighs, sets a hand on her hip. ]
You're not wrong. A medic on call would be wise, especially if we're expected to take on more jobs like the last one. [ Which is likely, since Cree now knows they're capable of it. ] And I happen to know someone who is qualified. I'd trust her with my life. Only...
[ She looks over at him and she knows he'll be able to read her expression. Only she doesn't know who I am. Not really. Claire Fraser has known her for close to a year now and has never learned the truth. It's a hard conversation to have. ]
no subject
And then she mentions Claire. He knows who she means. Hell, he had briefly considered suggesting her because of the obvious friendship between Peggy and Claire, only... it's that crucial, unsaid phrase that held him back. He doesn't know how much Peggy has told anyone of her career if she hasn't explicitly mentioned it. His brows knit, expression turning pained in sympathy. ]
Reckon he'd agree that you need him. [ He was a snarky one, that John. ]
[ He stops fussing with the bed, hands flat against the sheets, to regard Peggy. It's important that he pays attention, in this moment — that he does his damnedest to understand how she feels. ]
Do you want to tell her? [ This isn't the same as briefing an agent who signed up for secrets and danger. Claire wouldn't have a real choice in the matter: She'd only agree to know something that she hadn't before now. And knowing is enough to make someone a target. ] We can find someone else, between you and me looking, sussing people out.
no subject
Then he asks the next thing and she looks over at him, lips still curved in a smile, but more subdued. Almost resigned. ]
If you think we'll find another refugee who's experienced in combat medicine as well as a qualified surgeon on top of being trustworthy enough to keep both our secrets, be my guest. But you and I both know that's a tall order to fill.
[ There's a stretch of silence as she lets that hang in the air, then she sits on the bed, never mind that it was halfway to being neatly made. Yes, telling Claire would make her a potential target. Yes, telling Claire could possibly throw a wrench in their friendship because of how long she kept the truth from her. But — ]
It's kind of you to ask, Eggsy, but whether or not I want to tell her doesn't matter. We have to be practical about this.
no subject
This is different from when Peggy spoke to John on the side and brought her findings to Eggsy, or when he succinctly explained their status to Roxy. This is a partnership. They make this decision together, though the consequences are greater for Peggy. ]
Take your time. [ Not you really don't have to, or I'll look for someone else first. Another offer would be softened for her sake, when Peggy deserves undecorated frankness. He follows her example, sitting on the bed beside. Funny how they've ended up having this conversation here, in their sleeping friend's home.
He bumps their shoulders. ]
However you want to do it — we do it that way.
[ We again. He assumes that Peggy will want to tell her alone, and leave room for Claire's response — that Eggsy's part in all this will come later. ]
no subject
Honestly, thank God for Eggsy Unwin. ]
However way I do it won't be easy, [ she says with a soft huff of breath. Not quite a laugh. This is a headache waiting to happen. ] She's got so much on her plate. That's part of the reason why I never told her, I didn't want to add more to it. With John back in stasis, you are the only person who knows — apart from Steve, of course.
[ Though God, did the pair of them have one hell of a talk when she came home from the mission at the Institute. He had no idea about Cree but now he does. The truth is just spilling out now, despite Peggy's best efforts to keep it contained. ]
Everyone else just thinks I manned radios during the war and became a secretary after. Claire included. How would you take it if you'd confided in me from the day we met only to learn I'd been keeping something from you for nearly a year?
no subject
It helps that he trusts her with his life, as he told Roxy unblinkingly, and other pieces of himself that he buries — that few have seen.
And when she leans in this time, he allows the closeness to linger. This gesture isn't linked to the wound opened by Percy's loss. Secrecy and lies don't burn or cut. They erode. Slow, almost imperceptibly so, and erosion wears you down to your marrow eventually. ]
Well. [ an exhale. ] I'm notoriously stroppy. [ True, as she knows, but has been patient enough to avoid mentioning aloud. ] So, badly. [ He means it somewhat jokingly, though there's truth nestled in it. ] She cares about you.
[ He thinks that'll be enough, in the end. ]
no subject
So now it's a matter of extending that some courtesy to Claire. It's not a chat she's looking forward to but one she feels has been building up and up and up for some time, now. ]
I know. I don't doubt it. I just hope she understands that the secrets we keep are never to save our own skins or because we don't trust our friends. But, [ she sighs, ] I can't predict how she'll react. We'll simply have to hope for the best and keep our heads down in the meantime.
Even it means you have to sport a hideous goatee.
no subject
As for Claire, he defers to Peggy on that matter. If Peggy isn't sure, then her reaction is truly uncertain. Wait and see, as ever. Even with lower level and higher frequency missions on the ground, spying involves more waiting than any other activity. Waiting and watching, waiting and listening, waiting and hiding. ]
Oi, I said a mustache. Jesus, Peg. A goatee! [ in the tone of why, I'd never. ]
[ He adjusts his gaze, moving from the ceiling and back to Peggy. When he speaks, his voice is even. ]
How did Steve handle the news of your injury?
[ It's too much to hide, even if it has healed... faster than he would have expected. He wouldn't have noticed, if that hadn't been the case after the rescue mission as well. Of course, he doesn't think anything of it yet. ]
no subject
You've got a jawline like Errol Flynn, [ she teases, ] we have to mask it somehow.
[ And that lingers for a stretch or two before the subject changes and with it, the relative ease in the air. Not his fault. She's mid-breath when he asks and it stops for a moment before being released in a silent exhale; and now Peggy is the one who falls onto her back on the bed next to him. ]
As well as could be expected. [ It hadn't been an entirely pleasant conversation, but like the one she's to have with Claire, it had been building up for some time. ] I've hidden a few things from him, but a limp was by far the trickiest. The rest came spilling out from there.
[ Not his name or his involvement. She'd never. But that's a given. ]
no subject
When she falls back beside him, he tips his head to get a sideways look at her, more out of politeness than any visual cues afforded to him. ]
Fair enough. [ After Steve noticed the injury, more lies would only worsen the situation. ] Let me know if there's anything I can do. [ Besides commiserate, which is a given. ] If it would make him feel better to know who was with you —
[ He trails off. Eggsy doesn't have a relationship with Steve, partly by his own design. Would knowing it was Eggsy with Peggy help? Hard to say, but he puts it out there.
Roxy knows that he runs operations with Peggy, after all. ]
no subject
[ Yes, Roxy does know about her. And this offer is the complete opposite of when John had asked to know who her partner was and she hadn't budged on the subject, hadn't even really told Eggsy that was his request. The mess in her life is one thing; no good reason for it to touch Eggsy's, for all that they're partners in the underground.
It's kind of him to offer and he didn't have to. She knows. But she wants to spare him just as much as she wanted to spare Steve, if she can help it. ]
I know how unhappy you are with the position you're in now. [ Half joking that his people would sack him for how he's carried on here. She knows that wasn't all lighthearted. ] This is my mess, not yours.
no subject
[ It was offered freely.
Still, he would describe his position as fragile, at best. Perhaps the new head of Kingsman would consider his actions on El Nysa as necessary, proof of his adaptability and dedication to service, just like his work against Valentine. ]
I almost didn't get the job. [ Then, simply. ] I failed my final test. [ He pauses, listening for the light steps of JB pottering about the house in search of boy no longer on this planet. He tucks his arms behind his head. ] Didn't follow orders. Stole company property. Came back uninvited. [ His eyes shift, tracing invisible patterns on the ceiling. ] Killed a traitor. Maybe two traitors. [ Could Charlie survive a close-range electrocution? ] Saved the world, I guess. [ The point is: ] Everything's always a mess.
[ And his foundation with Kingsman is shaky, in some ways. Every other agent followed the same path. Loyal, old family; Oxbridge education; and shooting the fucking dog. Between his rough start and his choices in Olympia, he doesn't think it's likely that any agents who awaken will trust him. Even Roxy has reminded him of certain errors.
Telling Steve would be small, in comparison. That's all. 'Course he won't push it, when she's right about his position. As with Claire, Steve is her call. ]
no subject
Her lips quirk a little at the ceiling at the point he makes. Everything is always a mess. ]
My own agency arrested me on the grounds of treason and espionage because I was trying to prove a man's innocence. I was conducting my own investigation under their noses and they found me out. [ The lengths she'll go for friends as well as doing the right thing. ] It was a fiasco. Stolen technology, Russian spies, assassins. Men were killed. [ Chief Dooley. My fault. ] I was sacked.
[ She turns her head to look at him. ]
Solved the case, caught the bad guy, and was reinstated with my agency. Trust is such a rare and fickle commodity in our line of work. I suppose that's why I'm so careful not to abuse it. [ Yours. Steve's. ] We're partners, Eggsy. It goes both ways. However you want to do it, we do it that way.
no subject
Before now, the details of Peggy's case (getting sacked, discovering the truth) are unknown to him, yes, but each admission tracks with what he knows of her. Doing the right thing and protecting her friends at her own expense. What she says about trust, too, speaks to her experience. By comparison, Eggsy is green. ]
Russian spies, huh? [ A rhetorical remark. He lets out a low whistle, impressed and a little amused at the stereotypical nature of it. Peggy lived before the Cold War and yet he thinks of that first — along with her light accusation that he might be a Russian spy himself, because of his preference for the Kingsman Tokarev.
They're a long way off from that moment. ]
We'll take it one person at a time, [ in a faux Russian accent, ] comrade.
[ First Claire. Eggsy will make an effort with Steve and then — well, they'll wait and see. ]
no subject
His accent makes her laugh out loud, not unkindly. ]
Yes, one person at a — was that meant to be Russian? [ Peggy sits up on her elbows, looking over at him. ] If I thought there was any merit to learning another accent or language in this place, I'd offer to teach you. But as it stands, I think English and American will suit our needs just fine.
[ As if she can read his mind: ]
Maybe you'll pick up on the latter if you come over more, spend some time with Steve.
no subject
And how does he spend more time with Steve? Can't go golfing or bowling. Not that Eggsy does either, uh, ever. They could get a pint together. Go for a run, maybe. Everything else on the planet is weird shit. Besides, what does Steve like? Great fucking flag on his shield, definitely was in the army, going steady with Peg: That's about the limit of his Steve-related intel. ]
[ arching his brows. ] If you're inviting me to dinner, I'll take it.
no subject
Dinner is a start. I should have done it months ago, honestly, but... [ But things were a mess. Still are, and likely always will be. This isn't the quiet life any of them probably thought it was, at first. But Peggy's never known what to do with the quiet life. ] He's set up a training club too. Self-defense classes, that sort of thing, to help people better protect themselves.
[ The kidnapping incident shook a lot of people to their core and Steve, as a victim, was amongst them. And beyond that, with the childhood he'd lived, it makes sense that he'd want to help people stay out of situations like that. Peggy sits up properly now, smoothing a hand over her crushed curls. ]
You strike me as the sort of man who might be interested.
no subject
Eggsy sits up, easing to his feet to give JB attention. The fight club interested him when it was first mentioned on the network. People need it to help them sleep at night as much as to defend themselves. If he had known how to protect himself against Dean — ]
I can make a few appearances. [ But he can't become a regular, not without drawing attention to himself, even as an ex-marine and current member of the guard. Someone will notice his high competence or, worse, they'll realise how expertly he can dull his abilities. Now, that's suspicious.
As he crouches to scratch JB, he spies Peggy over his shoulder. ]
It's good work.
[ He wishes he could help more. ]
(no subject)